About 33 years ago, newly married, I offered to make the Hubby a cool display of photos of nice teeth for his office (actually his Dad’s office, he was the new guy in the practice). He had found and saved photos of people with great teeth from dental journal and magazines. I offered to laminate the photos and make a nice foam core poster board to display. I went to a printer in the area that had a laminating machine. I could have paid for them to do it or save a few dollars and do it myself. BIG MISTAKE (as in what Julia Roberts said in Pretty Woman to the sales gal who had refused to sell her clothes in the Rodeo Drive boutique, when Vivienne came back nicely dressed, with hat and gloves, with her fine clothes purchased else where). After inquiring earlier in the week, at the completion of the school day a few days later, I stopped on my way home, got set up, half listened to the instructions from the owner and then quickly proceeded to feed into the machine my husband’s carefully selected photos-another BIG MISTAKE. They were fed in so quickly that the plastic sheets jammed and the magazine clippings were a crumpled up mess, heated between the sheets of clear plastic. the owner of the shop was on the phone in back and seeing how this first round went, I decided to give it another go and went ahead and ruined the next few photos-BIG MISTAKE, once again. Finally, I stopped and then waited for the shop owner to finish his call so that he could be paid and I decided to cut my losses and decide how I was going to break the news to my new husband. He was a perfectionist and he did tell me how he had been collecting photos for a display and he was so excited to see what would come up with…He was going to be ticked! The man felt bad and offered to finish up for me. The offer was declined and I just wanted to get out of there.
As soon as I got in the car the plotting began. How could I make this up to him. Interestingly, NEVER in my mind did I consider to just fess up and say, “I screwed up and ruined your carefully selected images.” A good dinner, yes, that would do it, with a really nice dessert…Kroger was the next stop for filet mignon, baked potatoes, steamed broccoli and apple pie from scratch…I dashed through the store…rushed home and got going. The steaks would be cooked on the little counter grill as soon as I got the call that he’d be leaving the office, baked potatoes were to go right into the oven, pie crust going, The Hubby called, he’d be running late, last minute end of the day emergency, I had time to change into something pretty, do my hair while potatoes and pie baked, table set nicely in the little Fountain Pointe Apartment, oh, and candles, yes…I was on a roll and this was all going to be smoothed over…All was under control. The Hubby eventually called he was on his way, the grill had been preheated, steaks were on, he came through the door and said that he could smell the steaks from the parking lot and commented on what a great dinner to come home to…and he commented on how nice I looked for dinner at home on a school night. He then took a quick shower and changed, dinner was on the table, we said our prayer, started his salad then said, “Wow, I could get used to this.” There was a discussion about how his day went, and then he asked me about my day and then,
“Oh, did you get the photos done and the board finished?”
“Oh that?” Uh, well…it didn’t go as planned”
“Yeah, and…
“Well, the machine “ate” the photos.”
You can probably guess how it went from there. He wasn’t mad about the ruined photos, but that I didn’t just fess up and tell him what happened. He said that I was “bamboozling him” and he was right. The intent was to make him think that it wasn’t all bad so that he wouldn’t be mad at me. It was not a great day, in the early days of our marriage. Mary Yana was totally in the wrong, yet I was mad because he called me out on my stupid immature behavior of not apologizing and stepping up to the plate, right away. Good lesson to learn in the first couple of months of marriage and that lesson learned very early on most likely saved me from damaging many relationships not just in my marriage but friends, family, socially and professionally.
Interestingly, we see this behavior each and everyday right in front of us across the board in every part of society. People are people and people throughout history have made mistakes and have done stupid things. That’s what makes us human. However, it seems as if in the past, when people messed up, crossed the line, made bad choices or mistakes, they felt bad, maybe apologized or maybe just went away and we didn’t hear from them because they had a sense of shame for their shortcomings. Think Richard Nixon resigning because of Watergate and then departing the White House on the helicopter and we heard little else from him after that smiling wave from the doorway of the Marine One, where he then took refuge at La Casa Pacifica in San Clemente, California. In comparison, now, we see quite the contrary. We often see now those who offend, almost bathe in their “stupid,” even having a sense of pride and often sticking with their lie, bad choice or crime. Actor, Jussie Smollett, who even after the two men came forward to reveal that they had been hired to attack him, continued to play the victim, apparently, subscribing to the “die with the lie” attitude. Or even consider military spokespeople telling Americans phony baloney considering the recent Chinese balloon that flew over the country for days uninterrupted or untruths about the US exit of Afghanistan, as if we are born yesterday.
Consider the Bud Light VP of Marketing, Harvard University alumni, Alissa Heinerscheid who was responsible for the Companies financial debacle this past week when they chose a new spokes person that attempted to turn a traditional company with little to no politics in the public sector to becoming a social warrior. Rather than apologize for the damage done, she continues to lie and to defend her bad choice. The Company’s bad choice could have done damage control by admitting their misjudgment, offering an apologize and a commitment to winning back their customer base and getting back the business of making beer and doing some good will by offering a deep discount to customers for a week or two to draw them back in. Instead, they continue to loose their longtime traditional customers and may very well NOT get them back. Coors Light and other companies maybe just swoop in with good, non-offending commercials, drawing themed in. Look at Megan and Harry. They have fallen off the Royal radar, have decided to just send Harry to the coronation, while Megan stays home in her Cali home with the kiddos Archie and Lillibet (who happens to be named after the deceased Queen who Charles replaces). The Sussex’s are starting to loose their credibility in the market place and they attempt to rewrite the rules of the British Monarchy, demanding an interviews, apologies and pow wows. They are digging themselves deeper and deeper into the mess they have created. Newsflash Meg, every Family has some differences, but what keeps them together is the commitment to the family. Maybe the wisdom takes time to sink in and acquire. They look like two laughable clowns playing victims and we are supposed to feel sorry for them since they ride private jets around live in a large dig in a fancy California zip code and people want to take their photos (why I have no idea) The Sussex’s could easily make steps toward a moments by swallowing their pride and making an attempt to recognizance their mistakes in portraying Harry’s family. You can go along way with a very sincere apologize and some humbling of one’s self.
Lastly in examples, the governmental official who stole luggage from an airport conveyor belt and called foul and that he was being singled out because of his uniqueness…or think of the lying New York, newly elected Senator, who made up fiction facts on his resume to get elected, then is found out and won’t step down for his indiscretions, even Mitt Romney calling him out.
What these clowns, court jesters or fools totally miss is that when you humble yourself at those time when you fall short, admitting you are wrong, confessing to your mistakes and moving on, gives one a sense of, “I really can move on and doing so with a clear heart and mind.” Living like this allows us to move forward from our mistakes with all involved, on the right side of the table in life. They totally cheat themselves of that experience.
It’s universal. We’ve all come up short, stumbled or fallen and it’s those lessons when we humble ourselves, help us, hopefully, NOT make that mistake again and allow us to see it loud and clear in others when they try to pull some thing over on us. Getting “Called Out” on stupid actions by someone who cares about us, or really from anyone, is fair, even though we may not want to hear it. Allowing one’s self to learn from these situations, allows us to experience…Many Great Day ❤️
