About the time our youngest child was born, back in 1998, it became a popular technique to use a noise machine with white noise to help a baby sleep. The concept was that you bought a noise machine and it had different settings such as a waterfall, falling rain, the ocean and other soothing noises for a child to go to sleep to and these machines also aided in blocking out any background noise that might be going on in the home or outside of the house such as a vacuum cleaner going a television or traffic, law mowers or noise from a busy street or city. One year when we were at Camp Michigania as a family sharing a cabin with other families there was a family who brought a noise machine for their baby. Interestingly, the baby slept, but we were all treated to the loud white noise machine all night and we didn’t sleep. Anyway, now a days you can find white noise playlist on Spotify or other music platforms. In fact, Spotify considers “White Noise as a whole genre.
Recently, I was talking to a friend who described an event she attended where someone in the group she was talking who kept bringing up awkward and uncomfortable subjects. Several people in the group tried to redirect the conversation, and this guy wasn’t having any part of it so what my friend did was, she removed herself from the group to find some other people to talk to. We discussed how sometimes this happens in social settings or gatherings and how sometimes it is best to do exactly what she did, politely and inoffensively and when that didn’t work, she physically removed herself from an uncomfortable situation. Who wants to get into an argument or heated discussion when they’re out for a pleasureful evening? Really, probably no one, especially this time of year. These kinds of circumstances can make others at a table or in a group, feel uncomfortable, and sometimes change the tone or course of an evening. It’s just best not to go there. My friend described how she deals with these situations when she can’t physically remove herself, she looks as they person respectfully but the uncomfortable words coming out of someone’s mouth, as “White Noise”…
In the days, following my lunch with my friend, where this came up, I started thinking about how we at times ARE faced with uncomfortable situations and we could apply the “White Noise Theory” and here’s what I mean. Say that you are in a situation maybe it’s a group of moms at the bus stop a group of people at your social club or any other time people are gathered, sometimes discussions just lead unexpectedly to a subject that for some reason might be uncomfortable and it’s very innocent. Likewise, there are some people who enjoy bringing up uncomfortable situations to stir the pot. These are two different circumstances. The first one mentioned innocent and un-calculated, not planned. In those situations usually when someone divert the conversation in another direction that’s the end of it and sometimes people don’t even realize what’s going on. On the other hand, there are some people who relish the drama and the sparks in either “Shock and Awe” or making others feel uncomfortable. The further you get on life, the easier is to recognize these “firecrackers” so to speak. If you don’t want to get into a discussion or drama with these individuals, you can walk away. When there are times when you cannot, think of them as “white noise.” Not in a disrespectful manner, that would be rude and just not nice (two wrongs don’t make a right). However, when faced with an encounter with someone who has a pattern of this type of behavior, maybe it’s best to think of their speech as “white noise” or like the teacher in Charlie Brown “Wah, Wah, Wah, Wah, Wah, Wah!”Giving them eye contact and respect, but just not letting their words have a negative impact on your day.
Someone I know who refers to these individuals who seem to be able to be the “emotional vampires” who seem to be able to suck the life out of a nice situation. The word “Emotional Vampires” is so fitting. The very few emotional vampires I have encountered, ARE the frustrating to deal with, but really, they are to be pitied. Think about how miserable someone must be that they have to put the dampers on a light and fun conversation. These people know exactly what to say to put those or a selected individual down. In fact, they can be so good at it and so used to getting by with it, it just come naturally to them and it has become part of the personality. It makes me wonder what is missing in their life that they have to behave like this and put other people down or make others feel uncomfortable.
My experience in life has been that it is so much easier to be nice than to be mean and it takes a lot less energy. I always feel better when I decide not to speak and not say something I will regret. It is interesting how you can be having a good day, feeling the “sparkles” in life, referring to Friday’s blog post,”Have You Lost Your Sparkle?” When you happen to encounter an emotional vampire or Debbie Downer and it takes the wind out your sail and affects the good feelings going on in your little bubble.
Don’t let it happen, don’t let anyone rob you of the good vibe and feelings you have going on in your life. Assess the type of situation you’re dealing with, and if it’s an innocent slip of verbiage or maybe you took it the wrong way, let it go always considering the source of the words and your relationship to this person. And if it is mean spirited, first feel sorry for the person that they have to resort to this behavior to make themselves feel good and don’t lower yourself to getting the pit with them. Expect more of yourself. And then just think of their mean spirited comments as merely white noise and carry on. Who knows, maybe this is a good way to go into the new year with the new attitude when you encourage these types of situations. It might even make for a great day or a great year ahead in 2025. Wishing you good health, happiness, love and fun in the new year.
