Teaching Your Children That To Have a Servant Mentality is a Good Thing 🍎

I recall being a Parent Walker when our children played golf many years ago. How that worked, if you don’t have a child who golfs, is that parents (or someone in place of them, like a grandparent or sitter) are required usually to score keep or walk with a group of children a certain amount of times each season their children played golf. Sometimes you walk with your own children, a group in their age group and sometimes you are with another age group. They had enough parents for my kids age group so I was given another group to walk with. I’m not a big on playing golf but I sat in on several lessons over the years with the Hubby, the kids and Dr. Bob-their favorite golf instructor and he wasn’t a doctor.  Our kids learned many good golf lessons that spilled over into real life. I am big on golf etiquette and good sportsmanship and  tried to share my knowledge even though it was limited, with the children. As we walked we would have something interesting things to  to talk about during the round of golf. I remember this particular time,  it was a group of girls probably about age 10. We were on one of the holes early in the round and one of the participants hit her ball ball into a sand trap. I asked her what club she was going to use, it looks like she got the right club, she got it out on the first shot, we all complemented her on her shot and she walked away from the sand without raking it. That’s part of golf, it’s just what you do. I said to her, “You forgot something” she said “I have my club” she continue to walk. I said, “You need to rake the sand trap.” her answer to me was “No, I don’t have to do that. I am a ‘Smith.’ That’s why they pay people to work here.” I couldn’t believe she said that. “It’s part of playing the game.  If you hit the ball in the trap, you rake it when you get out. It’s a rule you need to rake,” I said. The other girls were a little surprised.  Not wanting to hold up play, I said ok, I’m not holding up the group behind us and and I raked, deciding as we walked to the next hole, that this was a good lesson to teach, so we discussed Ranking the Sand Trap and carried on.  Maybe she missed understood what her parents told her.  

     At the end of the round, we went over their scores and went over some things I thought they did very well and things I noticed to think about, like raking the sand trap.  I met Mrs. Smith, explained to her what happened.  Although I couldn’t assess if her daughter had been taught the sand trap lesson, I assessed other lessons that her daughter most likely had taught from home that reflected in her attitude and actions during the round of golf. A feeling of superiority and the “we don’t do ___________ because we are The Smiths,” most likely had been taught by Mama.

     I’m sure you all have had similar encounters with children who think that the rules do not apply to them or they think that work is not part of life. We all know how surprised they will be when they get to be an adult and go to the real world, earn a paycheck, pay their monthly bills, they’ll realize that having a good work ethic is a very good skill to learn early. It will serve well into their adult life and beyond.

     However, it’s not just that people need have a good work ethic for the things they want to do. We’ve seen our kids work really hard in areas they’re interested in, but it’s important to teach them that sometimes, we need to do work that may not be in an area we are interested in.  For example, it may not be at the top of their list to help out a grandparent, neighbor or roommate  but it’s part of what we do. I clearly remember an example in college when my Mom had to have last minute surgery.  Being worried and not having a car, my roommate offered to drive me up to Flint to see my Mom in the hospital. Most likely, she was not ‘jacked’ about spending a Wednesday night taking me up to Flint, but she knew I was worried and that was being a good friend and ‘serving’ someone else. 

     I know, young lady who works in the entertainment industry, not as a performer, but behind-the-scenes she has moved up the ranks in her area. She works with “the talent” when a new production comes out. “The Talent” is another word for the actors and actresses. Like any field, there are some people who are more pleasant to work with than others. What makes this young lady very successful in her field is she knows what her job is.  She knows that she’s paid well and she knows that she’s there to work for others. She is responsible for these people getting to where they go and making sure they have everything they need and get there on time.  She told me once, “these people pay me well and they pay me to do my job. I don’t complain. I do whatever they ask pertaining to the job. It matters to me that they are happy with the service I provide, even if I am not treated the same in return. When I am assigned to someone, they know they can count on me, I will get them to where they need to be on time and prepared and ready for their event.”

     I remember telling my kids when they were growing up “When someone pays you to babysit, cut their lawn, water their plants, whatever they’re paying you to do for a job, paying you to do it, do it well. How you do that job is reflection of you and person you are. You are serving them.” A friend of mine, refers to this as having  a servant mentality. I don’t mean this in a demeaning or derogatory way, whatsoever ever. I agree and see this idea as, when you have an opportunity to do something for someone else, to serve them, it’s an opportunity for you to show people you care.

     Last year, I took my mother to an appointment at The University Of Michigan Health System  for injections she was having. It was the doctor himself who came out with the release form to explained to me what he would be doing for the procedure. He wanted my mother and myself to know exactly what would be happening what she would be experiencing and what the risks were would be, although minimal. He was very thorough in his explanation. When he was completed with the procedure, I told him that I was very impressed with him from the time he came in, and I was actually surprised that he was the one who did the explanation at the beginning. His response to me was that he was the one taking care of my Mom and that it was responsibility to explain to her what is involved,” I would describe the doctors attitude and actions as examples of a “servant attitude.”  He recognized that he works for the patient and in their best interest.  It was apparent that he took pride in his job.

     Look at this subject across the board we all in one way or another another are servants. Many of us will be caregivers at one time or another for an elderly family member, sibling, child/children, or friend. We care for a person who needs our attention. We respect that person and most of us would treat that person the way we would want to be treated.   That’s just the way it goes.  This would be a good discussion for a car rider or around the dinner table what it means to be “a good servant.” It Means teaching your children to care for their room and make their bed in the morning. You provide a home for them to live in, a bed to sleep in,  place to do their schoolwork and they are to show their respect for what you’ve given them by taking care of that room and taking pride in taking care of it. This is easiest done when taught from early on. Teaching a child when they are old enough to make their bed and bring down dirty clothes in the morning, or given simple chores around the house, like empty the garbage taking out the trash, emptying the dishwasher and setting the table to help out. The responsibility of doing chores is contributing to the family and they should do it with a happy heart. It’s perfectly acceptable to teach them that they can make some jobs easier by putting on some good music or doing the job with the sibling, explain to them that we’re all working towards the same goal getting chores done for the family because we’re all part of the same team and we help one another out.

     When children learn these skills early on, they learn that work is a good thing and that serving or helping other people can not only only helps that person, but it helps us have a happy feeling in her heart when we do something for other people…

Leading to…many great days 🍎