Growing up in Flint Michigan, it was a big deal to get to go to a live performance at Whiting Auditorium. My Mom and my Teta Anna made arrangements to take me to see the Flint Ballet Theater perform there when I was about age five. We talked about what it would be like to go to a theater to see a live performance. Having started dance lessons at age three, it was exciting to think about going to see a real ballet perform like Sleep Beauty. My recitals at that point had been at Freeman Elementary School and McKinley Junior High so to get to go to a real theater, with an orchestra was a big deal. We talked about it leading up to the day of the show. During the performance, someone pulled the fire alarm. To this day, I remember the panic that I felt. It was hard for my Mom and Teta Anna to calm me down. Not having been through a fire alarm at school or anywhere else, this was very frightening for a five year old child. There were a few nightmares flowing that incident and then a few months later at school, a severe weather warning and tornado alert requiring all students to safety prepare. That time too, it was a very alarming situation for a small child to experience. Again, there were fearful feelings and my Mom (& Dad) had to calm me down. What they said, I do not remember but to this day, these two situation are still vivid in my memory.
Everyday we see children in scary situations, whether it is a hurricane, fire or a variety of other horrific scenarios. It breaks our heart to see parents and first responders have to get kids out of unsafe situations. As adults, we want to prepare our precious cargo for unforeseen circumstances, yet we don’t want to frighten them, force them to think of ‘scary situations’ they might not otherwise think of or make them have to grow up faster than they need to. What does a parent, grandparent or adult in charge of children do? I think of Julie Andrews character, Maria VonTrapp, in the movie musical, “The Sound of Music,” who taught the children to remember “My Favorite Things” when they were scared, like in the thunderstorm scene. Later in the movie, when the family was leaving Austria to escape to Switzerland, Gretel, the youngest child said, as the family was trying to be quiet and unrecognizable, “Should we sing about our favorite things?” The child remembered the lesson to think of good things in an uneasy situation, but singing was not the correct thing to do to bring attention to the family as they were sneaking away in the dark.
Every family should have some sort of plan or protocol for safety situations. What sort of situations you may ask? Think of the activities your family participates in and where you live and start there. For example, many families travel to Cedar Point or Disney World. A child can very easily become separated from their parents at a crowded place. We had a family in our extended family with a child who very innocently got separated from their parents. It was a short period of time, but for those parents and that young child it was frightening. It gave me chills to hear the story. If your family is planning such a trip, leading up to your departure, talk about that possibility. Not in a scary or frightening way, but very matter of factly. Maybe you know someone too who has experienced this situation. Tell your children the possibility of this happening, because there are many people, there is lots of activity and that it is important for them to know what to do, should they ever find themself in such a situation. Be calm and talk them through what they would do. Maybe you start with asking them how they think they should react and reinforcing their answer or adding to what they tell you they would do. We always told our children to look for another Mom with kids. Make sure your kids, if they are young, to know their full name and yours. They should know your phone number. Many of us have numbers stored in our phone so we don’t need to remember numbers, they need to know your number. Address is also important for them to know, depending on where something like this happens . Go over a script of what they would say to another Mom or police officer. Another person they could seek out is an attendant/employee at the park with a uniform on. Most likely employees at an amusement park are well versed in how to handle children who get separated from their parents. Talk about this every so often so that kids feel comfortable reciting back what they should do. If you are traveling, a tracking device on their shoes or on a bracelet might be a good idea too. Again, calm voice as you practice so you reinforce the importance of staying calm to think clearly.
Other situations children should be aware how to react in would be a fire situation or weather warning. Of course, had I been a little older when the Whiting Auditorium fire alarm went off, I might not have been so frightened, because most likely there would have been a drill at school. Parents really didn’t talk about scary situations with their children back then. Life was pretty calm and non-eventful in Grand Blanc Michigan in the late nineteen sixties. Life today is different. A family should have an escape plan should a fire start. That did happen in Grand Blanc. I was about eight years old or so and a family in Warwick Hills lost a child in a fire. It was talked about at school and many families I would think came up with plans and talked about the tragedy.
Of course you would talk to your children about not talking to or going with a stranger. Don’t open the door to someone you do not know, make lots of noice and scream if someone should take them and the list goes on from there. Another fearful situation in my memory as a child was The Child Catcher from “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang”. My Mom had to deal with my nightmares from that memorable male character with long stringy black hair. For many years, I would have to leave the room when that movie came on.
So many conversations in life depend on the tone and how we approach them. Always reassure your children that being forewarned is to be forearmed. Reinforce the importance of staying calm and remind them that there are many good people in the world that can and will help them should they be in a scary situation. End your short lessons on this topic on a positive note and tell them that they are always welcome to come to you with their concerns or fears and remind them how precious they are to you and just how much you love them. A hug may reassure them and maybe end in a prayer. A prayer is always a good place to start too, when faced with the tough situations in life, “God, please give me the guidance wisdom to figure this out.” Wishing you a Great Day 🍎
