My husband and I got married in the Orthodox Church. There is a part in the ceremony when the bride and groom have crowns placed on their heads to symbolize that they are the king and queen of their own kingdom. During the traditional Jewish wedding ceremony the bride and groom stand under a chuppah, or canopy, which symbolizes the new household that they are creating which they are the head of. If a couple chooses to have children, they are the king and queen of that family. Do you take on your role as a parent as if you are the monarch of YOUR Family? A good king or queen rules over theirs.
Photos from two Jewish weddings under the huppa-often spelled ‘chuppah’ and two photos from Orthodox wedding ceremonies when the bride and groom are crowned the king and queen of their own kingdom.
A good monarch or leader, rules with wisdom and subjects are expected to show respect for their leader, following the laws of the land. A monarch is entrusted with the wellbeing of those who dwell in their country/commonwealth, they set a good example of what a good leader is and even though it is a tall order to maintain, they walk the walk everyday to be a good role model. When we think of a monarchy, we may thing of Great Britain, the country our forefathers fought a Revolutionary War over to gain freedom for the United States of America. King Charles, who is the current monarch, inherited the throne from his mother, Queen Elizabeth II. Although the British Monarch doesn’t actually rule the country, Parliament does, they do serve as a role model to the country.
As a parent, you are entrusted with guiding your child and giving them the absolute best you can, in terms of wisdom and safety. Of course a parent needs to provide for their child the ”things” that they need, that is a given, but do not underestimate the value of the important life lessons you teach them. Lessons such as respecting authority and their elders, the importance of a reference to God, to treat one another with respect, to care for their bodies, to have a good work ethic and how to get along in the world. Teach your child to be intentional about their actions and that they will make mistakes here and there and when they do, teach the importance of asking for forgiveness to resolve the situation so that both people can go on and the relationship can be repaired. When your child does something wrong, address it. DO NOT let them get by with bad or disrespectful behavior. You do them ABSOLUTELY NO FAVORSin preparing them for the real world when it comes to the work place, social situations or a future marriage to let them by with bad behavior unchecked. A bad attitude, an inability to respect others can result in many hardships. Better to learn these lessons in your home and under your umbrella. To learn these lessons out in the real world, in a workplace or broken relationship can cause disappointment, emotional pain and even hardship. God entrusts us with his “precious cargo” to steer them wisely. I will always remember a very vivid image from a sermon in the Orthodox Church I grew up in, St. Nicholas, with Father Raphael with a theme on this very powerful subject:
“But whoever causes one of these little ones who believes in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.” -Matthew 18:6
Be the Parent, not the friend. Your child will have many friends, a parent is a role that only YOU can occupy. Take it extremely seriously. You have been entrusted with your child’s wellbeing, safety and future. DO NOT take that role lightly. Guide them with the wisdom of a very well respected monarch. I always felt as if I was unable to be my child’s friend until they were well into adulthood. You have one chance to get it right, to send good productive people out into the world. Don’t abdicate your role as a parent…It’s a Great Day 👑
