Two of our grandchildren were with us for a few days. We had a great time, although isn’t most anytime with your grandchildren great? As they were leaving, they were sad to leave two stuffed animals that we have on hand, along with just a few toys for them to play with while they are at our place.
Panda and Bunny supervising my drawing, Coco doing some work and down for their nap.
Panda and Bunny got hugs and there were a few tears from the four and five year olds. Our son-in-law, one who is quick to think on his feet, said, “Girls, how about if we either FaceTime or have Coco and Yana send us a video to let us know how Panda and Bunny are doing?” A few hours later, I did exactly that. I took a video of Panda and Bunny, told the girls what they had been up to. A few days later, I did the same thing taking photos setting up Panda and Bunny, such as taking a nap, watching me do some drawing and watching Coco doing his work, in “Elf On The Shelf Mode.” Yes, I am drinking the Kool-Aid.
Grandparents want to be a part of their grandchildren’s lives. If they live close in proximity to their grandchildren, it can be easy to be involved with dinners together, taking the grandkids for outings, over night or helping out with some childcare. Grandparents who live elsewhere can still maintain a close relationship with their grandchildren, it may take a little creativity, but with technology and the mail, it is very possible. The example above with Panda and Bunny is just one way to connect with your little people. Find creative ways to connect. Here are some thoughts…
-Take short little videos just checking in with them. When I send little videos to our grandchildren I keep them right around 20 seconds. Around that time because they are easy to send and they are brief for a child to watch. I like a video because it can be viewed at the parent’s convenience. When I text it to our daughter or daughter-in-law, I say something like “here’s a video for the kids show it at your convenience.” Face Time is nice and many times it is a good way to stay in touch. I like a video because a phone call from me may or may not be at A busy time for them, it can be shown at their convenience.
-Connect with your grandchildren over a shared interest. It could be a sport you both are interested in, a shared hobby, art, a movie or event. You could send little videos with information you come across on these subjects. Also, you could send little packages with books or items on this topic. When you do get together you could go to a sporting event or take part in an activity like going to a ballet or an event on your shared interest.
-When you do share time, give your grandkids opportunities with a few art supplies, sporting equipment, cooking or other items. This will give them something to look forward to on their visits. During the interim time, you can connect on phone calls FaceTime or your videos, on these subjects.
-Share with your grandchildren YOUR own interests and hobbies. This allows them to see you as a regular person with interesting qualities. You are showing your grandchildren to be interested in others, it’s not all about them. You also may be introducing them to an area they may not know about and even if they don’t have the shared interest, you are exposing them to it and they may come to have an appreciation of it, even if not interested enough to become a fan or someone who actively is involved.
-If you can, take your grandchildren once in a while, either for a night of babysitting, an over night or spending a weekend or time with your grandkids to help out. Young parents have their hands full with so much responsibility. Ask them what you can do to help them. Do it on THEIR terms. THEY are the parents and you take a back seat to parenting to them. Especially when you are in their home or you all are together, Now, if the child’s safety is in jeopardy, you must step in (as in if you were at their house, you see them in danger and parents are not right there, of course, you step in). If the kids are at your home, YOUR RULES. But aside from those situations, follow the lead of the parents. It can be confusing when parents and grandparents are all present and giving the grandchildren direction. We went skiing with or daughter, son-in-law and granddaughters. My role was to ski down behind our son-in-law and one of the girls, Dan in front, granddaughter then myself. My role was to be on the lookout for an out of control skier or snow boarder or someone who didn’t see us. I said very little as Eva needed to just focus on her Dad’s instructions. Dan did not need me throwing in addition tips nor Eva having more directions coming at her. Know when you need to be there for support and be good with that.
-If you don’t have family nearby and wish you did, create a nurturing situation with trusted friends. I have seen multi generational relationships blossom at church and in the community over the years. This can be a win/win/win when all are respected.
As a child growing up, I did not have grandparents who lived close. However, my Teta Anna (my Dad’s cousin, Anna. Teta means Aunt in Macedonian) and her parents became our close family, with her parents feeling like grandparents. We would all get together on a Friday or Saturday night for pizza and they all came to Birthday parties, dance recitals and holidays. I have great memories of those times. As Teta Anna got older, it was fun to take her out visit her and have nice conversations on the phone. I was glad to reciprocate for all those times she and her parents were there for me. I often think, can anyone have too many people loving them? I think not. Our kids are so fortunate to have been able to grow up with two sets of grandparents who lived in the same town. Both sets of grandparents were very involved in all of our kids lives growing up and still are (sans my Dad who passed away 6 years ago). It made me very happy for them to have these close relationships with other adults who love them unconditionally like their parents.
Yes, I am drinking the Kool-aid of Grand-parenting. Who would have guessed that I would be staging Panda and Bunny taking naps? Not me. But you know what, it’s fun and makes for many, Great Day 🍎
