A while ago, we were out of town and the Hubby and I had each gone in different directions after Church and made plans to meet up at one of our favorite places for a nice healthy lunch out, PDQ (stands for People Dedicated to Quality). One of our favorite places when we are on the go, especially when Chik-Fil-A is closed (which means it’s Sunday). I had changed bags that morning before we left and forgot to put my wallet in my bag. I arrived early at PDQ and placed our usual order. I reached to pay and realized that I had left or lost my wallet. I told the cashier and asked him to void the order as I did not want to hold up the now, long line, as I went to search the car or wait for the Hubby to arrive on the scene to pay. A very nice lady with several children and her extended Family also with her, waiting behind me in line, heard the interaction and she very quickly said,
“I’ll get your lunch.” and she reached for her wallet.
I felt bad and told her that I could wait for my husband or I could go check the car.
“I don’t mind. Just pay it forward to someone else.” So I said.
“Ok, I can do that. Thanks so much.”
Brooke and her husband had a large Family with neat looking children in a range of ages. It looked like they may have come from Church too, all being dressed nicely, and as I mentioned, it was Sunday. I talked to her husband who told me that they were from Fayetteville, Arkansas. They have an older son in the military and they were traveling with their younger children for 4th of July holiday. I observed them as Brad arrived and we all made introductions. As they were leaving, the Family all moved the tables that they had arranged to accommodate their number, back into the correct places. Her husband came over and brought me his wife’s business card and said,
“If you are ever in our area, my wife will take care of you.“
I went to clear our table and one of the younger children was coming back from the restroom and I said to him, “You have very kind parents.” His response to me was “Have a Blessed Day M’am.” His response was just as genuine and generous as his Mom’s gesture. Children are listening.
Like I said, it was a while ago, and I am still thinking of Brooke and her lovely Family. They left a mark on me in that very brief encounter. Everything from her kind offer, to the way they arranged the tables so they could all sit together and placed all tables back in there original places, to the very neat way her children were all dressed to the extended Family and the older children helping the younger children. The way her husband came over and gave me her card to still offer kindness, should we ever be in their neck of the woods. Wow!
Interestingly, the opposite can happen as well. Think of the rude person at the store, think of observing an unpleasant person and then they talk disrespectfully or hatefully to their child and you observe it all. Consider the behavior and social skills that child is learning. Reflect on how that interaction makes you feel. Now, none of us know anyone’s plight, situation or circumstances, it is not fare to judge anyone’s parenting or behavior but one can’t help at times, but observe and be left with how an uncomfortable vision like that makes us feel for ourselves and of course for the child. It is not our business, but in watching, sometimes, if we knew the situation we might be able to say “the child behaves the way they do because of the circumstances they see everyday. Yes, children will listen and they will behave in a way many times, similar to what they see modeled around them. If there is kindness and love around, most likely a child will behave that way as well. It brings to mind the song from the musical, “Into the Woods,” “Children Will Listen,” some of the most beautiful lyrics written and so true.
It made me think of a situation when one of our sons was in the second grade. He came home from school and sat at the counter with his other siblings for an afterschool snacks, before starting homework. The kids sat at the counter and I stood on the other side, asking how their day was and they would always ask how mine was-I had told them that you ask other people about themselves, it’s not all about YOU. Anyway, when it was his turn, he said that they talked about adoption in class. One of his classmates told a few kids he was adopted, and it sounded as if the teacher used it as a teachable moment. His second grade teacher was a veteran who knew how to handle any situation and what I liked about her M.O. was that she was a good listener to assess what the child knew, before going into an explanation . Her philosophy was that sometimes over explanation was too much for a child and that less is better. Anyway, our son said that they he didn’t know anyone except, “James” who was adopted. “Not true,” I added. “Your Aunt is adopted. She came from Korea.” “No way! No one told me!” I didn’t laugh but it did make me smile to think that my sister-in-law is clearly Asian, she looks like no one in her family, however, she clearly is a Burau. “Aunt Katie even sounds like Grandma!” He responded. The innocence of children!
That Sunday at PDQ got me thinking. “What do people say about how they feel when I’m around? Do I make people feel good or do I make people feel uncomfortable? Am I kind, warm and approachable or do I send off feelings like daggers? Or do I leave people feeling no different than the was they always feel?
We all have a choice. We can choose not to care and have the attitude that “it really doesn’t matter how people feel abut me.” Sometimes that is a good attitude to have, as it protects ourselves from judgement that can bring us down or be hurtful and of course that is better than being hurtful. However, to be the people who go the extra mile to be looking for where they can “Do their Magic,” although these people don’t look at it that way, for them, it’s just how they behave most days and in most situations. Pros at this stuff, aren’t necessarily ‘Mother Theresa Like,’ they are just people out there who have made a conscience effort to live, looking for opportunities to live their Faith. They are teachers to their children of the greatest lessons in life, “How to live by the Golden Rule,” “How to Love Your Neighbor,” “How to lookout for another human being and show kindness to complete strangers” “How to learn from the Good Samaritan lesson in the Bible.”
Lately, we have seen so much tragedy and sadness in the news. News, that could leave us feeling hopeless and full of despair for the world we live in. It’s good to be aware of the news and what’s going on around us, but we cannot let it discourage us and wear ourselves out with doubt and worry. If we do, it just might prevent us from letting our own lights shine to others to make their lives brighter. The news of the day didn’t dim Brooke from Fayetteville, Arkansas’s light. Brooke is lighting off fireworks of Love. Fireworks that make her children flicker and ignite their hearts to speak kind words to complete strangers. Brooke’s actions show the love and light in her heart and her spark affected me then and all these days later. I have told her story quite a few times since our meeting at the PDQ checkout. Children WILL listen and others as well, in fact complete strangers can be affected by your words and actions. How will YOU affect the people you come into contact with? We all have a choice…
“Wishing you a Blessed Day,” said Brooke’s son ❤️
