Over the weekend, I read about an actress in her fifties being interviewed about her long career in the movie industry. She told the reporter doing the interview that she wasn’t getting the choice roles in the movies and was being passed over because she initially didn’t want to do uncomfortable scenes. The actress explained that she had been raised in a conservative and religious home. Her parents discouraged her from taking compromising roles. She eventually caved in and agreed to take those roles and her career sky-rocked. She talked about the uncomfortable scenes being, well, uncomfortable to film so she told herself that she was just playing the character and that it really wasn’t her doing the uncomfortable scenes, it was her character. After taking these roles, her relationship with her parents strained and all these years later they have been estranged . Although the actress’s name is not being mentioned here, you could did a search and find out her name, but since I do not know her specifically or the the situation first hand, “this is not my monkey not my circus.” However, a few things about this story got my attention.
Number one, if these roles were uncomfortable to film, maybe they were the wrong thing to do. It’s human nature to feel uncomfortable when we are doing something wrong. That’s our conscious trying to protect us. Teach your children that if something ‘seems’ wrong to them, there’s a good chance it is.
Secondly, the actress was in her twenties when these circumstances described took place. The lessons her parents taught her growing up were still fresh in her mind. Parents have their children’s best interest at the forefront of their minds. Her parents had tried to teach her right from wrong.
Lastly, we sometimes make choices we regret later, whether it is uncomfortable behavior, treating others with disrespect or unkind words. When this happens it’s important to change the behavior, ask forgiveness and repair the relationship. What is sad in the actresses situation, is that over the twenty-five years later, she has not yet repaired the relationship with her family. Each day after the conflict with her family makes it harder to make amends.
Teach your kids to trust their instincts and if something feels wrong to pay attention and talk to you or a trusted adult, if you are not available at the time-discuss who a trusted adult would be, possibly a grandparent, other family member or anyone else in your family’s circle of trust. When families are close, discussions are more likely to happen. Good communication within a family leads to the conversations that solve problems and make them feel secure when uncomfortable circumstances happen. Your children need a strong foundation to grow up and go out into the world to good, productive and clear thinking adults. Let them know that you want the absolute best for them, more than anyone else and that you hope to guide them so that they will learn to make good choices. Finally, let them know that we are human and sometimes makes mistakes. Let them know that if they learn from their mistakes and make amends, change their behavior and ask the person they had the falling out with to forgive them, that is the way we repair and keep relationships intact.. Teach them how to sincerely take responsibility. Explain that when this happens, they can move on, learning from the situation.
The family is the closest bond in society and should be the most secure as it is the foundation of society. Do everything you can as parents to communicate this to your children and let them know that you are their for them to teach them right from wrong and to protect them. You are their security blanket…
Wishing you many great days together ❤️
