In the last few years I don’t think I have said, “I can’t believe this is happening. You couldn’t write this stuff,” when I see some of the stories out in society today. I remember seeing an interview with Jordan Belfort, author and main character in The Wolf of Wall Street, he said that when he gave the first copy of his manuscript to his publisher, her comment to him was, “Can you tone it down a bit?” I didn’t see the movie, I’ve seen clips of some of the scenes and interviews with Jordan and the cast of the movie. It’s hard to believe that that stuff happened. I also remember decades ago when Joanne Collins sister, Jackie Collins was promoting her book Hollywood Wives. The book is a fictional depiction of the extravagant lives lived by the Hollywood crowd. She said that she had to modify many of the storylines in the book because no one would believe how far-fetched and out of touch the characters were, many, although ‘fictional,’ based on people she knew in that community, compared to the lives of average Americans, or were they?
Top photos, Jordan Belfort, author and main character in The Wolf of Wall Street. Bottom, Jackie Collins best selling book, Hollywood Wives and the author, herself.
Interestingly, you don’t have to venture out of your own communities to see dramas playing out like those of Desperate Housewives, or some of your other favorite television dramas, soap operas or Spanish Novellas. Let’s just say there’s a whole lot of crazy going on everywhere and there’s very little that surprises me anymore and you may be able to say the same.
About 15 years or so ago, it almost seemed as if there was an epidemic of crazy in our own community. Whether it was midlife crisis, hitting it big or more people were affected by the full moons. I don’t know, but I remember thinking several times during that time. How much crazier can life get?
I have to say, I felt that way when I heard that are or could be several pardons coming out in advance for numerous people, it almost seemed as if the idea would be like passing out Get Out Of Jail Free Cards, as if they were candy. Remember those from the monopoly board game as if they What has our country come to?
There is a time and a place for pardons, in my opinion. Presidents have that opportunity and freedom. There ARE times when someone might have been over charged for a crime where a sledgehammer was used to hit a thumb tack to make an example of someone or a situation such as Alice Marie Johnson received a pardon during the Trump administration, she had served 21 years in prison as a first time offender. During her time in prison she rehabilitated herself and she was a changed person from what I’ve read. She has used her pardon for the greater good now as an advocate for prison reform. For people who have served their time, who feel remorseful and willing to make a change in their life, it’s probably a good thing. In those cases, the pardon was well served. As I mentioned in last week’s blog post for the President to choose to pardon his son really, who wouldn’t expect that? But for pardons to be extended to numerous people, some even well in advance of a reported crime, well that’s another story. You see when people get by with bad behavior, if they have not learned their lesson and feel no remorse for their crime, they’re more likely to commit the crime again. Crimes hurt us all in one way or another and we all pay for them one way or another. For example take the crime of a drunk driver hitting and killing someone else. Someone paid the penalty for what they did, someone lost a family member, a father, a mother, a sister, a brother, a child and nothing can bring that person back. If a person feels true remorse, and they’re willing to change their behavior and move on forgiveness can happen and a person can move forward with their life, but it doesn’t take away the consequences of that crime.
Alice Johnson on the days she was released from prison after serving 21 years of a life sentence, when she was pardoned by President Trump. Kim Kardashian was involved in the process after hearing her story.
Take the child who is not made to experience consequences from their bad behavior or poor decision-making on their part. If a parent or the education system doesn’t teach them from their mistakes, they will continue to make the same mistakes over and over again. When I taught parenting classes, I would often say that if your child does not learn how to manage themselves in their behavior under your roof in the privacy of your home, they will be forced to learn very painful lessons out in the real world in a public forum. That could be very embarrassing for them and your entire family. That would be a very difficult decision for everyone involved and that could involve circumstances or consequences that could be experienced over a lifetime or at least many years.
I find the expression, ”just because you can doesn’t mean that you should’ very interesting. There are several understandings of this phrase. For example, just because you can afford something doesn’t mean you should necessarily do it whether it’s buying a bigger house or more expensive car or spending money extravagantly or gambling. Of course it’s your money and you can spend it how you will but think about saving for a rainy day or think about how one extravagance can lead to another ending someone one Over extended financially. Or take the example of how any behavior can be taken to the extreme, can be abusive. One drink two drinks here or there a drink with dinner or a beer with the guys there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. However, to take it to the extreme or. excess can lead to a problem which could result in alcoholism, which could, if not dealt with, lead to a spiral downfall and the same could be said about taking recreational or illegal drugs.
Life can be a slippery slope with many temptations all around us. None of us are immune to these temptations whether they be to overindulge in food, alcohol drugs, gambling spending, or any other destructive behavior. These bad behaviors can lead to consequences from broken relationships, difficult financial situations or worse. We’re all human and any of us could be tempted at any time.
It’s also very easy to get dragged in to other’s situations. Sometimes when people get too involved in other people‘s problems and situations, it can cause issues for those others involved. Either others can be affected and get involved with whatever the other person is dealing with. For example, if someone has a drinking problem and a spouse or close friends tries to be of help, they can become someone who drinks too much when they are in the company of that person and then they themself are faced with the same problem. The intent is usually to help and totally noble, to be there for them and to help them deal with their problem. Or they find themself taking on the problem that the person they were trying to help is dealing with, affecting their life, bringing us down and now affecting their work and relationships. It’s a tough juggling act to try to manage our own lives, helping others when we can, but not getting bogged down in the problems of others.
I remember a few years back when we were ready to celebrate a monumental event in our family’s life and I got a call from a friend late at night who was in trouble over their head. I was on the phone with them trying to be a support. I was glad they reached out to someone, however I didn’t know if I was equipped to handle the problem. I did the best I could to try to go back to sleep that night with their problem heavily weighing on my heart and mind…When I woke up the next morning, I called a friend who was a counselor and told her about the situation, not naming names, but asking her how I should handle it. She recommended that I call the gal and give her my friend the counselor’s name and number, leaving the door open for her to call for help and no charge to her. What my friend told me was very valuable information. She said “Mary Yana, you are not equipped or trained to handle her problem. You’re not a professional in this area. Also, this is not your problem. The person who’s dealing with the problem has to take ownership of it and get the help that they need. That took a big relief off of my shoulders, was a good lesson and she was right I was not adequately trained or qualified to handle this problem, and it was best left to a professional to give the person the most effective help.
Get Out of Jail Free? Nothing is for free. A Pardon, Get Out of Jail Free, does not exist. There are consequences to everything if life, good and bad. None of us are perfect, we all have our flaws and shortcomings. All we can do is the best we can. So much in life comes back to The Golden Rule, to treat others the way you would hope to be treated. When we live that way, and we messed up, asking for forgiveness and changing the bad behavior, making amends, we can move forward with a clean heart. When our intentions aren’t good, and we don’t learn from our mistakes, we’re setting ourselves up for hardship and difficult times in the future. Life is full of good and bad and a variety of choices. The choices we make, for the most part, determine our path in life. There are those unforeseen circumstances, like accidents, illnesses or tragedies that can throw a hitch into our lives, making what could have been a smooth path a bumpy ride. However, if the tally column of our life has more good choices than bad, we sometimes can navigate the journey of life a little easier, making the most of our days and being able to say the amount of great days were, GREATER.
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