🍎 A Room With A View

Several years ago, we hosted a foreign exchange student.  We hadn’t planned on it, it was an unusual situation and we petitioned to get the teenager to our house from a home where basically, the French student was brought over not as a foreign exchange student, but rather to babysit the host woman’s elementary school age student in the afternoons, before  she returned home.  We became aware of the situation and how unhappy the teenage girl was, she had hoped to play sports and her duties around the house babysitting prevented her from this.  This was not why her mother sent her over. Anyway, we met with the placement agent, pleaded our case to have the student come to our home, told him what we could provide and after ‘OUR’ presentation we were told, that all a host family needed to provide for the student, was a bed, dinner, breakfast and a desk (lunch was on them).  Why they gave us a hard time to have this student, I do not know, maybe they wanted us to take someone else and leave the French student where they were, I don’t know, but in my mind, for a student to succeed they need more than that. We did win our request and the situation caused me to think, what actually DOES a child need to set them up for academic success in school?

     First of all, when I say academic success, let me define what I mean. Maybe the correct work to use is educational success because when I hear the word, academic, what may come to mind is a traditional college preparation path. For some students, this is necessary.  In preparing for a career as a teacher from early on in my life, I knew that college prep classes and a four year college degrees was what my education path would be.  Same for an engineer, attorney, a medical professional, accountant and other careers involving a four year degree.  If your child has interests and strengths in non academic areas, a general high school curriculum with skilled training in a specific areas if available while in high school, makes good use of the student’s high school experience.  Having had a child who didn’t see the value of biology, chemistry or physics, and saw them as a waste of time (not to mention my time too, explaining to him why he needed to succeed in these subjects even though I too knew that he would never use this information after classes were completed), his time would have been better spent, preparing him for a career in technology.  Really, that was on me, as a parent, I should have done the research and found a program, like a skill orientated program focused on tech.  We did do the next best thing though by utilizing the very limited at the time-this was years prior to covid-and we home schooled him which DID prepare him for what he does today.  He taught himself how to code, he taught himself the ‘different languages of coding’ so I don’t totally understand what that means but it has served him very well. 

     What every child needs in addition to a bed, meals and a desk is, a room with a view.  What I mean by “A View” is a view in their mind of where they are going and that the path they are on will get them to where they hope to arrive.  You as the parent know your child better than anyone else.  You know their strengths and weaknesses.  You know whether they need to be in an Advanced Placement class or whether they need to have success in a regular level class.  Of course, some parents will make the arguments, and I most definitely see their point, “I want my kind in the AP or Honors class because they will be in a classroom with students who want to learn and are highly motivated so the teacher is spending more time teaching and less time handling behavior. YEP!  However, if the student is overly stressed and struggles to keep up, is that the best choice for this child?  

     As you children are in the formative, elementary school years, paying attention to the activities your child has success with, could be clues as to what areas they may want to explore as an area of interest for a career choice. These initial clues may or may not be fruitful, but they get you paying attention to where your child’s interests and strengths are.  Conversations in the car or when you spend time together are another opportunity. Follow clues and conversations up with  experiences that ‘fit the bill.’ For instance, if you have a child who talks about interest in having their own restaurant one day, and you know someone who has a restaurant, ask them if there is a time, that fits best into their schedule, that would work for your child to spend some time with them and if they old enough, have them apply for a job working in a restaurant.  This gives them hands on experience and a view into the work involved in running a restaurant.  These experiences open children’s eyes up to an area of interest and the work involved..

     Looking back, we always made sure our kids had their desks organized with supplies readily available so that they were prepared to do homework and studying, as well as a comfortable ‘reading chair’ in their room.  Each year we assessed if the desk was in the best place, with adequate lighting and if the desk still suited it’s purpose.  Growing up, my Mom did the same thing for me.  And I clearly remember the room at Martha Cook at  the University of Michigan and my desk that looked out the third floor window over the beautiful courtyard with the trees that changed colors or were bare in the winter.  I had a lovely room with a view.

  As you get ready to send your children back to school and off to school if your children are heading off to college, it’s important to make sure they have a quiet place to study and do their school work.  The foreign exchange program was correct, a child needs that.  But they also need a space and room with a ‘view’ to dream and think about their future plans, leading to many Great Days 🍎